Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Guitar =)

I've had a good week so far. I can't believe there's only 6.5 weeks left. And only 4.5 of class. This semester has gone so fast. I'm so glad for that too, I know things will just keep getting faster. I'll be teaching my own class before I know it.

This week I started guitar lessons. I'm taking them from a guy named Pete Banfield. He's been playing guitar for like 30 years and has taught lessons for like 20 of those. He's even written some songs that he sold to Disney. I feel confident in his ability to teach me. I already learned how to play most of a whole song. A Taylor Swift one even. Any lessons teacher that teaches what the student wants is a winner.

Also this week, last night actually, I cut all my hair off. I probably cut 6 inches off where the shortest layer is. I'm not sure how I feel about it but no one has said anything bad yet. Except my dad, but that's cause he's been bitter ever since I cut off like 12 inches in one day. So now everytime I cut it he says, "I thought you were going to grow it out again." And I say, "No dad, I'm never growing it out that long again." And he says, "Oh. Okay." I swear this happens ever 6 months or so when I drastically cut my hair.

I don't have a lot to say really. I need some prayer over the next few weeks because all of my professors have jammed everything into the last few weeks. Which I think is rather dumb. But oh well. It's a race to the finish now.

Okay that's all.

-Kristina

Friday, March 19, 2010

Growing up

It's been awhile. My apologies.

This week was spring break. I have looked forward to this week for a long time and I was counting on some major relaxation. It has been anything but relaxing. I feel like I haven't had much free time at all. It's scary to me to think that, if I don't become a teacher, I only have one more spring break. Sometimes I wish that I lived in a different country. Everything is so much more relaxing there. Like in France, for instance, they have a 35 hour work week. While five less hours doesn't seem like a lot...that's a ton. They also get like a two hour paid lunch break every day. For instance, while I was in France, my parents worked in a town that was about 30 minutes by train from where we lived. They both came home everyday for lunch because they had enough time to do that. Why does everything have to be so hurried and rushed here in America.

I feel like the fact that I'm growing up has been thrown in my face so much this week. Things with Lucas and I are changing so much. I don't even know how to explain it. It's just difficult doing this whole becoming and adult thing with someone else. Not that I'd change it for the world.

Then today, I went to lunch with an old friend from high school. We sat and discussed people we knew from high school. Out of both of our groups of friends, half of them are married, a quarter have kids, one is a model for playboy, one has recently became gay, and several have served in Iraq. It's crazy to me how much your life changes after high school. It's amazing how all of this news and gossip affected me. The marriage thing is always rough. I feel so ready for that but it's not my time. It's so rough seeing everyone around you getting married. The kids didn't bother me so much. While it is something I look forward to a lot, I know that I have plenty of time for that. The one who is a model for playboy was really just unreal. I think that one hit closest to the pains I've been feeling about growing up. I know she didn't choose the most moral career path...at all...but she's doing something. She's chosen her career and made it to the top already. I'm so ready to start my own career...the clean one haha. An elementary teacher.

The one who recently become gay effected me more than anything. This person was someone who was incredibly close to me for 6 years. From 7th grade until I graduated I talked to him about everything. I couldn't tell you how many times I went to him crying about trivial things and he was there for me. He was my first of so many things. Most importantly he was my first best friend. Later he became my first "boyfriend," my first hand to hold, and my first date. However, none of that was where we really clicked. We definitely were supposed to just be friends. After we both graduated from high school we went our separate ways. To be honest, he was part of the reason I went to TU instead fo OSU. I wanted change. Not even cause I wanted to get away from him. I just wanted freedom from him. I knew he struggled with alcohol, and drugs, and Christianity. And I think I didn't want to be resonsible for his salvation. Which is awful, but I think it's true. Anyways, I haven't talked to him for almost three years. I haven't even wanted to talk to him. Even had I talked to him, I wouldn't be able to like I did then. He's different, I'm different. But when I was told today that he was struggling with homosexuality, I couldn't help but feel a little resonsible. I know that there is probably very little I could have done for him. I'm just kinda struggling accepting everything. Life is so crazy. And it's changing so much. Growing up is a very crazy thing.

Also this week I spent a lot of time at the food bank. I haven't done a lot, mostly just labeled unmarked cans. But it's still made me have more appreciation for the food in my cabinets. Some of these cans were in bad shape, and they had things in them that I'd never heard of. I couldn't imagine looking at this can of some strange vegetable and being so grateful for it. I'm just so glad that I am blessed enough to go to the store and get what I want, not what is handed out to me.

I think that's all.

-Kristina

Monday, March 8, 2010

My Oral French Test

I went to bed last night with an awful stomachache. I knew the chances of me getting a good night's sleep were very slim. I tossed and turned all night long. I even woke up several times wide awake. It was so frustrating because I was so incredibly tired.

Finally the night was over, it was the day of my oral French test. After panicking all day long, and having multiple stomachaches, I went to my French professor's office. The good news: I survived and she even told me that I was improving a lot. The bad news: I have to wait to get my great. Ridic.

Okay. Boring post. I was just happy that I survived the dreaded test.

-Kristina

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

School

This week, or Monday next week, I have to have a one hour long oral interview with my French professor. She's the one who I believe has been put on the planet to ruin my life. She's my own personal Satan, who wears me down on a daily basis and takes my focus off where it should be. To be honest, I would dread an hour long interview with any professor, but with this one? In French? Is it really necessary? I firmly believe that the answer is no. I speak up in class, I do the readings, I answer questions, I write her papers. So why must I be tested on my French ability when I am showing her every class period my abilities.

Okay. Really. I understand. It's a test. Tests measure progress. Tests measure achievement. Tests give you grades. Just let me grip for a bit. Geez.

I'm very, very anxious for Spring Break. I'm sick. And that's not helping me stay motivated. 99% of the time I just want to take some NyQuil and crawl into bed for the day. Responsibilities suck. Which brings me to my next point.

How do people know when they are ready for more responsibility? For instance, the responsibility of marriage? Of children? Of new jobs? Of friends? Of pets? I think that oftentimes you just have to jump in. Then you'll learn the responsibility necessary for whatever it is you just jumped into. I don't know. I'm just rambling to be honest.

I've been thinking a lot about my life. And my future. Everyone is telling me to finish school before I start a family. And I realize that's the smart thing to do. But to be honest, I want to be a stay at home mom until my kids are in school. I want to stay home and do the cooking and cleaning and have dinner on the table when my husband comes home. That means I have like 10 years to get a degree. Why is it so important to get it done now. Even if I took one class a semester it wouldn't take 10years. Oh well. I guess that's not really the only thing stopping me anyways.

I'm rambling so much. I apologize. I just want to be done with school. I'm super stressed right now and that's not going to help me get over this cold. AGH! 3 more French classes until Spring Break. =)