How I Met Your Father, Part 2

The Relationship

Lucas and I didn't start our relationship in a typical "will you go out with me" sorta way. It started at YouthQuake. It was Amazing Race day and each of our family groups set out on a race around the town of Como, Colorado. To be honest, I don't really remember the details of this race. I do however remember that it was 1.) really hot, 2.) really humid, and 3.) at an elevation with little oxygen. We were all running around on the side of this mountain trying to win a race. It was long. I was tired. I hadn't drunk nearly enough water to keep my blood pressure in check. So, needless to say. I got sick.

I remember running through the finish line and then collapsing onto the ground next to one of my youth ministers. I instantly was shaking. As is typical when my blood pressure gets unhappy. I wasn't really too worried cause it had happened before. But apparently people were worried haha. I laid on a makeshift bed, a hard table. And covered up with a makeshift blanket, a pillow out of a van. I don't really remember the next hour or so except for the fact that Lucas was there. I was shaking and it hurt and Lucas was holding my legs to keep them from hurting. I remember being incredibly paranoid because I was on a camping trip and hadn't been shaving my legs haha. Poor Lucas.

I think it became obvious to both Lucas and I at that moment that we were both important to each other. I wanted him there with me, and he didn't want to leave me. I survived and eventually, later that week, decided to talk to Lucas. Even before I had gotten sick Lucas and I had been spending a lot of time with each other. I couldn't tell you how many people asked me if I liked him. I was sick of the questions so I went right up to Lucas and said, "What's going on with us?" After we talked for a few minutes, I walked off disheartened. He had told me that he liked me and was attracted to me but didn't want to date me. I was upset, but also saw where he was coming from. At that point it was 2.5 weeks until we both went our separate ways for college. We definitely didn't need to be complicating things with starting a relationship.

After getting home from YouthQuake I just assumed things were not going to go anywhere. He didn't want to be with me so why attempt anything. But then, it happened. I was online talking to him and he asked me if I wanted to go hang out. I was confused. But excited. I decided to do it. Over the next few days we went and hung out at the park a few times. One of our first conversations about marriage happened in those days. At the time, he was going to go to school to be a youth minister. He wanted to make sure that I was okay with someday being a ministers wife. We both knew then how serious our relationship would become. After I told him that I would be okay with it, he grabbed my hand to hold. That was when we began our relationship haha. July 29th, 2007. Over the next month I gave him a lot of crap about never asking me out, so he did eventually, but we'd already been together a month.

2 weeks after beginning our relationship, Lucas moved to Joplin. It was rough. Really rough. We both struggled a lot. One thing we did at the time was read our bible together every night. During the first year of our relationship we read through the bible once together. I really liked that we did that and we have plans to do that during our first year of marriage also.

Anyways. As if starting off in a long distance relationship wasn't enough, Lucas had a family member who was very close to him pass away. Our relationship was challenged so much in that first year and I couldn't tell you how many times we fought. We struggled to stay together through a lot, really in the first two years. Neither one of us were truly happy and we couldn't figure out what was going on.

Then, in the summer of '09 I went to France. I was there for six weeks and I think both of us learned a lot about ourselves in that time apart. When I got back we broke up.

After a month of being apart, we knew that this wasn't what we needed either. We spent a lot of time discussing how to improve our relationship and how we could make things better to where we could both be happy. Neither Lucas, nor I, were anywhere near the people that we were when we first go together.

Lucas and I got back together eventually and I can't even begin to describe how much better our relationship was. We fought less. We were both happy. We smiled more. We dated more. Everything was better. Again I can say with completely confidence that our breakup was needed. It helped us both step back and realize what we needed to do for the other person to make everything work.

Now, I'll be honest, our relationship can still use some work, just like every relationship in the world. But the good news is, I have the rest of my life to work on my relationship with Lucas. =)

Part Three to Come

-Kristina

How I Met Your Father, Part 1

The Introduction

One summer, long ago, I was at an event held by my church called YAC. This stands for Youth After Church. Every Sunday night, our youth group would meet at our church building for small groups, and then travel to someone's house to hang out, eat food, and sometimes swim. Since it was summer and I was only 14, still unable to drive, I loved these Sunday night events. It was the only time that I would get to see a lot of my friends. I remember this night more clearly than a lot of those YAC events.

It started out just like any other. We were all just hanging out and talking. Eventually, one of our youth interns, James, shows up with a boy my age. Being a teenage girl, my interest was instantly spiked. James brings the boy over to our group and introduces him to us as his cousin, Lucas. He said that Lucas was going to be going with us to Youthquake. I honestly don't remember saying much to him at that time. Maybe a "Hi, I'm Kristina." Idk.

Here is where me and Lucas disagree on how the rest of the evening went. But this is how I remember it. A few of us girls decided to go swimming. So we went to the pool and jumped in. However, there was one girl who decided she wanted to be obnoxious and stand on the edge of the pool saying things like it's cold and I don't want to do this. At this time in my life, this particular girl drove me insane. It was so obvious to me that she was just wanting attention and I just wanted her to get in and shut up. It was then that my night in shining armor showed up. Lucas was standing on the pool deck and reached over and pushed her in. I was in love. This boy that I had just met had just shoved someone in the pool that I didn't like. Today he says that he didn't do that. But I know he did haha. That's what first attracted me to him. =)

Fast forward about 8 months. I'm gonna say February 25th, 2004. I had recently told one of my friends that I liked Lucas. And of course, in high school, the only reason you do that is so the person will find out haha. So, he found out. I was carrying my trumpet, walking down the hallway of the church, and here comes Lucas. Because I heard it through the grapevine, I knew that he was about to ask me out. I wasn't quite ready for that so I was a bit nervous. My friend Chelci was walking by me and when he walked up I dropped my trumpet on her foot. That's how nervous I was. Eventually, he asked me out, and I told him no. Lucky for me, he was persistent.

February 29th, 2004. Round two. While hanging out at YAC, I spread the word that I want Lucas to ask me out again. Whether he gets that word or not, I don't know. I do know that I was talking about lip gloss right before he asked me out. Why I remember that I don't know. But I was. This time, I say yes.

May 6th, 2004. It's funny how these dates are still so clear to me. My relationship with Lucas was not quite the relationship I had been hoping for. He didn't go to my school, and I couldn't drive. I hated talking on the phone. So, two days a week we got to see each other and talk. I hated that. And while I really liked Lucas, I hated how the relationship was. I broke up with him, telling him that maybe we could try again when we could drive. Little did I know he had already told his mother that he was going to marry me if he had anything to say about it. And one of his classes at school.

Throughout the next 3 years, Lucas and I's relationship was very rocky. We sorta tried the whole relationship thing again but ended, yet again, with me backing out before it could really get going. I would go to him for advice about other boyfriends that were giving me trouble, he would tell me to break up with them, I'd get mad and be upset at him for awhile. We both dated other people. We both still talked to each other fairly regularly. I truly believe that during this time, God was shaping us into the people that we needed to be for each other. Because of this belief, I don't regret a single one of my mistakes. I needed them to become the person I was when Lucas and I got together again.

Part 2 to come.

-Kristina